Moments of impact, or how I turned my ideas of mentoring and networking upside down
I was listening the other day to a podcast called You Said What?, which is about those moments of communication that are so impactful, they can change your path in life or who you are. I was inspired to share two unrelated, yet connected, moments that, for me, speak to the value of sharing my network. When I was right out of school and starting my career, I signed up for my organization’s women’s council mentoring program, and I took the bold move of requesting a very senior manager from the list of potential mentors. I had admired her from afar, her warm demeanor, confidence, and blunt way of speaking her mind. With my pen and paper ready to take notes, I was excited to absorb all her professional wisdom, which would undoubtedly propel me on the fast track to promotion.
When I sat down with her, to my surprise, she peppered me with questions about what I and my peers thought about this or that. You want to know what we think???? Yes, she said. She explained to me that she spends all her time in a bubble, hearing from other senior managers who have been working there for decades. This was her opportunity to sneak a peek into what it was really like working there today and learn from my generation. She actually wanted to tap into my network. I was flabbergasted, there’s really no better way to put it. In a moment, I became the mentor, and in our monthly meetings, we chatted and laughed about how different our worlds were. This relationship taught me how mentoring isn’t really about seniority, age, or even expertise. It’s about sharing diverse and new perspectives. I have been reminded many times in my career that learning, like communication, is two-way.
Fast forward several years, and I was serving on my first advisory board at my favorite museum. I was overjoyed at the opportunity to contribute and share my ideas and energy. At my first meeting, I walked in, sat down, looked around, and realized that I didn’t look like anyone else there. I was a good 20-30 years younger than the other members of the board. The meeting kicked off, everyone welcomed me, we dug into board business, and then the conversation came back to the newbie. Here’s that second moment: I was asked, how do we find more people like you? A simple question, and it should be a simple answer. But the truth is that I had no idea why there weren’t more people my age sitting there in that room. At work, I used to teach new employees that it’s ok to say I don’t know—it’s far better than making things up—but a better answer is to say I don’t know, but I’ll find out. So in that moment, I knew I had to find out how to bring my network in to support this institution. But I also knew that I wanted to dig deeper than the obvious reasons that come to mind and ask the follow-on whys. This moment felt like that earlier moment where I was being asked to mentor up and lead from where I was. I just needed a plan for how I was going to get that answer.
I’m not one to do things half-heartedly, so I decided to go back to graduate school. You might ask, was that really necessary just to recruit my friends to this museum? But that’s not the question I was answering. This was a bigger question than how do we add a few more donors. This was a question about what my peers and generation value, and the survivability of museums and all nonprofits depended on it. Ok, a little dramatic, but I’m an anthropologist, and I jumped at the opportunity to dig into this question and learn more about my generational culture and the field of philanthropy.
It’s five years later, and in the interim, I have indeed brought friends to that and other nonprofits. I have taught nonprofit leaders about generational differences, suggested new ways to engage young people, and steered conversations in the boardroom to issues of age diversity and broader board diversity. I have also inspired other successful young professionals to take on nonprofit board leadership roles. Not a bad result for two small moments asking me to share my network, which just goes to show the real power of networking to amplify your impact.
